Slow Down

It's been a crazy week. I woke up last Monday to have my emotions running in a rollercoaster, which continued till Tuesday until the Holy Spirit told me to pray against it, and then I am a-ok!

Praise God.

But then I went ahead and be a crazy gungho woman and practiced my song for Thursday till kingdom come, till I am quite spent.

Uh oh, VERY wrong move.

Well, it's all very good until I decided to be once again a crazy gungho woman and worked on a YouTube cover on Wednesday, this time playing the accompaniment myself.

Again, VERY wrong move.

So I thought I was up and going on Thursday, just to find out I spent my voice. Yup, that's the reason why I wrote the earlier post that I was banned. I had over-practiced my vocal cords, causing it to be quite tired. Given that my performance song (yeah, I'm practicing it for a performance in early June. Yup, practice goes all the way real early) is not exactly what you would call an easy song, to sing it on repetition mode without intermissions is like asking for the death sentence...well, almost. Also I had been sleeping late and waking up early, without a nap in between, adding to it some health problems, so I was more spent than usual.

So, I was banned. My teacher gave me fair warning that if I don't take heed her orders, I'd lose my voice for months, she raising examples of some of her students that took the same road as I did, only with more stubbornness (?).

Knowing the need for a good voice to carry that song (will reveal it one day, maybe), I really need to keep my voice in the tip-top condition.

Fast forward till today, Monday.

I have this inferior complex when I see people more talented than me. Maybe it's this pride in me that wants to compete (though really, for what purposes, still boggles my mind) so I have some regrets and today it got a little worse, back to the condition like last Tuesday.

Then I was rash and became sarcastic to my clients though trying hard to be as civil as possible. It was a small mistake, enough to drive home a point, but if I had thought things through, I would have helped in making their cooperation with us better.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.


- Proverbs 15:1

A few people had told me that I tend to want to do many things at once, causing me not being able to focus. This week had showed me that I was in a rush, I saw myself totally needing a rest and to really...slow. down.

Although it's great to want to do many things, have many dreams, but my heart has not learned to be still. Be still and know that Someone is more powerful and more sovereign, and that I don't need to prove myself, or prove my worth. Because it's not about me or what I can do, but it's about Him and what He can do through me.

I can do my best. But I need to slow down, focus on one thing at a time, and let go.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing till you get there.


-Josh Billings

I still want to do many things, but the greatest lesson I learned this week to really, slow down. Sometimes it's good to multi-task, but I need to learn to be less demanding of myself and put my trust in Him, the One who is in control, in spite of what happens.


Learning to slow down,