December 2010?!

That is the release date for the third installment of Chronicles of Narnia.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the name of the book.

Some may find the Narnia franchise a little overhyped. Yeah, it's C.S. Lewis, so what. It's a children's book. I got no time for kiddish fantasies. Then explain to me why you watch Harry Potter. Or The Golden Compass, or any Disney movie (except Pirates) for any of that matter?

But lo and behold, though it takes more than one year to release the film, it'd be interesting to know that there were some major changes to the film.

No, I'm not talking about the story itself. It's still in production, so can't talk much about the script. Besides, Douglas Gresham is still producing the movie. Don't think he would want his stepfather's story to go wayward now would he?

All this are old news by the way, but the changes make me very excited to anticipate the film.

First off, never mind if Lion, Witch and Wardrobe was a little "meh". I personally find Prince Caspian better but it didn't fare well enough in the box office. Read: enough.

But Dawn Treader is an epic. Cause it's a seafaring thing. And if you watch Pirates, Titanic, Master and Commander, and all those seafaring movies, you'd be sure that it's gonna be BIG. Sure, there are less war in DT but that doesn't mean it isn't cinematically beautiful enough. Read the book and imagine...there are just so many islands they have to go to...Eustace turning into a dragon, fighting a sea serpent, sea people, Dark Island, the magician and his Dufflepuds...it's a book waiting to be transformed into visual language.

2nd off, Disney came out, back out, cabut lari. Okay maybe not cabut lari, but because they were fearful of a 2nd flop and some creative differences, Disney no longer co-produce the film. Guess who's in the reins now?

20th Century Fox. Yup, that's another biggie with lots of money to spare. :P Besides, they do good films and are more widely distributed.

So don't know whether Disney made a right move, many say it's a bad move, and I hope it's a good move, so that 20th Century Fox can expand Narnia's horizon.

3rd off, the crew changed much. Andrew Adamson, the previous director now sits in the producers' seat along with others. Michael Apted, the man who directed first three episodes of HBO's ROME and recently Amazing Grace now holds the megaphone. I've watched the first episode of Rome and the direction is just amazing. Imagine what he can do with Narnia.

Composer also changed. From Harry Gregson-Williams to David Arnold. The man who composed for Independence Day (the Will Smith one), 5 James Bond films, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Four Brothers and also Amazing Grace. Now if you like the James Bond score (think Tomorrow Never Dies onwards till Quantum of Solace), safe to say that he's good.

Visual supervisor also changed. If you liked the visual effects of Lord of the Rings, think no more. Jim Rygiel is the man in charge now.

Cinematographer also tukar-ed. From Karl Walter Linderdaub to Dante Spinotti, the man behind X-Men: The Last Stand (which I thought was very nice), The Last of the Mohicans, Mirror Have Two Faces and Prison Break pilot episode.

And most of all, the scriptwriter also changed to Michael Petroni and I think another person. But yeah, haven't heard of his stories, so can't say much about him.


It's a Dawn Treader for sure. Let this be a really good Voyage!

Overwhelmed.

I am in a state of lost.

You know what happens when you are faced with a few things at once and the magnitude of the importance of all these suddenly just dawn upon you, rendering you feeling helpless?

I know it's induced stress. It's imaginary, because everyone goes through it and lives through it. And honestly, I can't handle stress well.

Only for one reason.

I want to stay like a child.


Childish thoughts breed childish behavior.

I think the world has still some good in it, that's why I want to believe that everyone has some positive side to them.

..I end up deceiving myself, being tongue-tied when I'm not suppose to. I'd suck as a lawyer.

I think the world can be a better place, that's why I want to write.

..I end up deceiving myself, being less than able to convince myself even with my writing. Jack of all trades, master of none...hello.


Such childish pride in me has laid its hook upon me for so long I forgot that it's time to grow up.

Therefore when responsibility comes, when a dosage of time management is required, when a larger capacity of self-discipline is required and when I have 6 assignments on my hand to finish by the end of March in proper Rebekah Lee-style, I am overwhelmed.

And I break down.

Not in tears. But in function. My brain refuses to work, mentally blocking and trying to find escape in others only to find others have work for it to do as well. My chest tightens and I am overwhelmed. In a wrong way.

I hate this mental block. It hinders my progress and I am unable to work through it. And I end up being distracted like blogging. this. *roll eyes

I hope by this Sunday it will all be finished and gone with. It's time to grow up and stop being like a child.

How does one balance herself to be an adult in a fallen world and a child in God's presence? We end up contradicting ourselves if we are not careful. We end up being overwhelmed. In a wrong way. How do we be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves? If God says its possible, it'd better be working out.

Hello, adulthood. I welcome you with a reluctance. But oh, come on anyway. I can't be so naive anymore.


I need some gunshot-like antidote to blow this mental block away.

Someone please hand me a bottle of soju.


Three cheers to adulthood. Bottom's up!

Endings

I know, I know...I'm suppose to be writing my assignment, but I'm not. Self-disciplined much, no?

I wanted to post this since yesterday.

I am a sucker for dramas. And also movies. Especially those with good endings. Yes, I am talking about dramas and movies. Doesn't matter what language or genre. (But I'm touching on Korean and Taiwanese dramas, cause American dramas are just too long to end.)

Criterias for me when I watch drama:
- good acting (character!)
At least one main lead and supporting minors must be solid acting, cause ever since I started writing scripts and later started reading dramabeans, I always look out for character portrayal and development. If the whole cast can't act to save their lives....I understand the flowerpot concept, but seriously, go and get the skills. Acting can be taught, though some are born with a flair for it. I know I can't act, cause I have no nuance in my expression. Always dead-fish-eyes.

Recent case in point: Beethoven Virus with Kim Myung Min, Boys Over Flowers with Lee Min Ho, etc.


(Kim Myung Min as Kang Gun Woo/Kang Mae in BV)



(Current Korean hot boy, Lee Min Ho riding on BOF fame as F4 leader Gu Jun Pyo)

- good soundtrack (swooning factor!)
Never mind if the storyline is a bit boring, when the songs and instrumentals are put to good use, even boring tears can move one to tears. But of course, not every OST accompany boring dramas.

Recent case in point: Star's Lover, Hello God, Goong, etc.

- good directing + cinematography
I like nuances in scenes. I like those small, little factors that directors pay attention to. Less is more. To have a strong story deliverance, you just have to cut out the weeds and pay attention to story, not fanservice! Not only so, I like lingering moments of those needing lingering.


(Choi Ji Woo & Yoo Ji Tae as Lee Mari, Kim Chul Soo in SL. I liked this scene as well.)





(Lee Ji-Ah and Kim Myung Min in BV. Loved this scene! I love hands holding...)

Recent case in point: The hand movements in Star's Lover, the water dripping from Du Ru Mi's (Lee Ji-Ah) shirt in Beethoven Virus, the tearing of Joo Ji-Hoon's character in Goong when Yoon Eun-Hye's character didn't want to stay in the palace any longer but he wanted her to stay.

(*Boys Over Flower, unfortunately, even with Lee Min Ho as a strong lead and several strong supporting casts, have less than stellar directing and editing. So. Sigh.)

- good storyline (retention factor!)
Seriously, there must be a good storyline enough to make me want to stay on, no? Even when I write script, I want to write something with substance so that audience want to keep on watching it.

- good script lines (swoon factor!)
Need I say more? It is those sweet lines or those emotionally-laced lines that keeps the drama memorably sweet.

- good endings (respect factor!)
I am a sucker for good endings. A lot of dramas I watched have terrible endings or "meh" endings -- endings that just don't make sense. I'm not just saying the final scene. I'm talking about the resolution which is usually the last episode if not last two. Good endings are those when the ending made sense and therefore wrap up the whole show nicely. Never mind if the middle part dragged, I find it very important to see the ending...So I WILL stay on to watch the whole thing. If the ending was bad...the whole drama just lost its flavor.

Btw, ending does not necessarily need to be a happy one. The protagonist can die for all I care, but at least have a good ending.

Recent case in point:



Star's Lover - starring Choi Ji Woo and Yoo Ji-Tae
Alright, this drama was beautiful in the beginning, slow in the middle all the way towards the end. If you want to watch this drama, watch while they are in Asuka. Then, you just watch it for the chemistry up to Episode 16. Skip Epi 17 and 18, go back to 19 and you can forget about the last episode. Yeah, this sums up my review for the drama.

Honestly, it's not that bad, as compared to Choi Ji Woo's previous works (think Winter Sonata and Stairway to Heaven) but it's still slow till frustrating points when it reaches the middle. As javabeans said, how does a drama take such a sharp turn.

Oh well.

But my point is, though I like the happy reunion, I find the ending just "meh". Why? Only for one reason: It doesn't add up. Episode 12-17 was all about Lee Mari (CJW) the star who fell in love with a commoner, meeting the utmost difficulties along their way. And *spoiler** boom, she confessed that she love Chul Soo (YJT) very much, still does and apologized to the whole world for her previous lies (Epi 19)...and then they lived happily ever after, with a daughter after 5 years and her career unmarred (Epi 20). I think if the ending narration was narrated by Chul Soo, it would be much better (he was the starting narrator for the drama).


Another case in point:



Lovers in Prague (Jeon Do-Yeon & Kim Joo-Hyuk)

Though I didn't manage to catch all of the middle-part, so it's a little hard for me to judge the whole thing, but I did manage to catch the last few episodes and I loved the ending, where they were both consistent in character...Jeon Do-Yeon's character Jae-Hee was still as last-minute as ever. And how they went back to Prague after one year of marriage and Kim Joo-Hyuk's character Sang-Hyun wrote "I Love You" in every possible language he could find...I mean, that has got to be one of the best ending ever. I wished Star's Lover could have them go back to Asuka. I totally wouldn't mind the beautiful cinematography done up in the starting episodes being repeated here.


Isn't this scene captured nicely? I don't mean the picture. If you watched, you'd know. (This is Episode 2)

Other case in point:
Beethoven Virus - interesting ending. Not the best, but not the worst either. Summed up the drama well enough.

Likeable or Not (daily drama starring Han Ji-Hye and Kim Ji-Sook) - the ending was a typical daily drama setup, everyone takes picture in the end. But everything fitted and it was a good ending.

You're My Destiny (daily drama starring SNSD Yoona and Park Jae Jung) The first part of ending was great, I never felt more impressed to see a death scene. Then the rest just became so predictable that it's patheticly bad. Like what happened to Subin's story? Subin's (Gong Hyun-Joo) story was so main character at the starting then she just faded to the background. Like did Yoon Hee (Park Min Jee) call Tae Young (Lee Pil Mo) father? No... But then the drama isn't really great to begin with. So. There.

Sweet 18 (starring Han Ji-Hye and Lee Dong-Gun) - just normal. I hated her perm. I liked the ending for My Little Bride, the spinoff movie version starring Moon Geun Young and Kim Rae Won better.

Lovers in Paris (starring Kim Eun-Jung and Park Shin-Yang) - weird ending. Why go back to the starting of the story of another person in Korea (instead of Paris) with four Tae-Youngs (KEJ)? Doesn't make sense.

I'm Sorry, I Love You (starring So Ji Sub and Im Su Jung) - this is the a really melodrama melodrama...but I loved the ending! Even though both of them died, the voiceover at the end and the flashback was done properly so that it was a bittersweet ending. Very nice.

Hello, God (starring Kim Ok-Bin and Yoo Gun) - I loved this drama for all its worth. Even if Yoo Gun's character Haru goes back to being a kid, I liked how he remembered Kim Ok-Bin's character Eun-Hye, like he promised when he was high in IQ. LOVED it. And the voiceovers between both of them. Very sweet. Never mind if it didn't reach good ratings.

etc. etc. etc.

Even In This Time...

What knowledge do we receive when we come? What yearning do we immerse ourselves in?

In the deepest depths of my heart, I am curled in a position of want. There is only but a spark of hope that reaches out beyond all human imagination. Where is a fire of unquenchable desire when one asks for it? It is only a glimpse of nothingness transforming into a something of value. A rock without being chipped, remains only but a loose fixture of carbons. Hammer it, train it, melt it and you will discover the diamond within, a strong bond of the Cs that is unbreakable.

Skies are bluest when clouds do not form and gather, and darkest when the sun hides itself and blurred behind the boundaries of where the eye can see. A day ends here, a day starts there, and we are all reminded with nothing else but that we have Today and Yesterday was gone.

Physically we ail in growing days, our soul journeying between hunger and satisfaction. The makeshift entertainment we used for our own enjoyment was only a temporary station, which a train must pass after it has stopped for a while. Where we pick up the phone, it is a constantly interrupted, fizzled and noise-filled long distance call. We can only hear bits and pieces at one time, hear nothing at all in other, and hear very clearly for yet another.

What aggravates a person, excites him and provoke him can only be clear to himself. Not even the ones closest can perceive exactly, though some may try to contradict me. Where our dreams lay untouched in the deepest depths of our souls, the most hidden secrets never told even to ourselves, we desire, we long, we crave for a dream fulfilled. Our search starts, our search ends, and we continue to dream, unabashedly, albeit ashamed to admit it.

And there is that source of a flicker. A flame does not start without a spark and an apple does not float with gravity. That magnetic draw towards a source not found on earth, not found within the crevices of our hearts, and certainly not found in a starry world, can only we gravitate to it.

To the One that cause us to hunger and thirst without a plug to stop the never ending clawing for fulfillment greater than physical food itself; to the One whose breath brings life where it needs life; to the One whose hand guided the seemingly outcast, the tortured and second-ranked through a journey of discovery and fulfillment of promises made; to the One whose words shake heavens, move mountains, and calm the churning within through only a whisper...



I have come to know, I have come to learn to love.

A Dreaming Sea

I had a dream just now.

Like a fleeting image, if I do not write it down I would forget it.


Jisun - Rollercoaster Love

I was once again at my old neighbourhood. The place where I grew up for the past 10 years. I spent the most of my childhood here and my teenage forming years here. But I did not go to my house, rather, I stood inside a club, and went into the manager's office to take the motorbike key. The manager was a friend. I passed by a lonely stranger drinking. I did not see his face, I only saw the back of his head. He was bald. But I was wearing my helmet and couldn't see well. The helmet felt heavy on my head.

I left the club, happy and went to the uncovered car park just outside the apartment blocks. There was the motorbike, owned by my sister, borrowed by me. I lifted it out from the enclosure and I heard singing. His voice was like the ones you hear on the radio, clear, deep and soulful. Interestingly, I did not find out whose voice it was. I only waited till the song finished.

I find myself riding the motorbike quite skillfully. I remember I rode it once, but only driving it at the first gear. Now, I sped up a little. And soon I was having a blast of a time.

And I came a stretch of road by the sea. Like a cliff overlooking the sea, I was amazed by the beauty of the sea.

At a distance, I saw hills and mountains nearer and bigger as I approach them, still sticking to the road. I've been here before, I told myself. This was my second escapade to the place. The dream had repeated itself. I saw rainbowful colours of water flowing down one mountain, another mountain had reflection like glass, reflecting the sun in rainbow colours.

I was awed. The mountain range kept its green and it was the most green green that you will ever see. The sea was a deep shade of bluish grey and very calm. The road in front of me began to be blocked by reddish rocks. I remembered the first time it happened. It will clear for me to pass through. What lies beyond the rocks, I did not pursue the second time. I just told myself that I want to bring my sister here the next time I come.

And then I wanted to take a picture.

And the whole dream suddenly took a sharp turn into an LG camera phone commercial, featuring a 15-megapixel camera, with its picture captured with excellent sharpness. The picture taken was a happy child on an amusement park ride. The child looked Asian. To take a picture, press the middle button.

I whipped out the phone to take the pictures of the mountains floating above the sea.

And I woke up.


*above is a true account. Dreams always have a weird way of associating your memories. But seriously, what's with the LG camera phone commercial? What does this mean, will I star in a LG commercial? Work in a LG account and this is my idea? 15 megapixel. Wow. I even remembered that. Haha.

Jisun - Mermaid...Coming Back Home

It has to be a good year for releasing good music. 2008, to me, was a so-so year for the Korean music arena. I only remembered the most famous at the final quarter of the year was bombarded by Rain's "Love Story" and the famous "magic stick" dance (Rainism), DBSK's equally controversial "Mirotic", Wonder Girls' and their "Nobody" dance, Baek Ji-young's "Like Being Shot" and a few others...Big Bang...

But I still enjoyed 2008, with Clazziquai's Alex releasing his first solo album "My Vintage Romance" in June and a few other singles, with two by J.

But why am I reminiscising on the past? 2009 didn't take a breather. Kara and their "Pretty Girl" was the favorite pop, now replaced with Girls' Generation's "Gee"...Gee, I haven't been keeping up with K-pop charts now.

But, I have been keeping my ears open for gems like this:


Currently on my playlist, Jisun of Loveholic fame has to be a great gem. Songwriter and singer, Jisun left rock band (not really rock rock per se) Loveholic in 2007 to launch her solo career. Though she didn't release a solo album last year after leaving Loveholic, except a single featuring Clazziquai's Alex (who's another solid gem of its own), she has finally come up with her solo debut, loosely translated as "Mermaid...Coming Back Home".

And what can I say? If you like a bit of experimental, a bit of electronica, a bit of rock, a bit of pop, a bit of ballad and solid singing, then this works perfect for you.

Track list: (Literally translated, took from z-degrees.net)

1. Someone Somewhere Someday
2. 인어...집으로 돌아오다 (Mermaid...Coming Back Home)
3. 안녕 마음아 (Goodbye Heart)
4. 롤러코스터 러브 (Rollercoaster Love)
5. Universe
6. Windflower (feat. Alex)
7. 그는 널 사랑하지 않아 (He Doesn't Love You)
8. 보고싶어 (I Miss You)
9. 지구인 (Earthling [but also known as Endurance])
10. Phony War
11. 우리가 나눈 사랑의 진실 (The Truth About The Love We Share)
12. L O V E
13. Polaris

(Goodbye Heart, the album's signature song)

Mind you, Jisun wrote everything herself. It's pretty much picking up where her group career ended. Though I cannot compare Loveholic and Jisun because she is the lead singer there and I didn't really listen to Loveholic before I touch this album. But I can safely say, she didn't throw away her talents and didn't go very far from Loveholic's style.

And being a music lover, I admit, I liked 95% of her album. The other 5% rested on more of the not-so-used to two songs on the track. Yes, I like the first track itself, never mind there is nothing singing there.

After being so tied down by ballads, this is a good, refreshing change without being over poppish, rockish and experimentalish. And if the music taste doesn't suit your taste, listen for the voice.

(I Miss You, where her voice sounds a bit Dido-ish, but one of my most favorite tracks nonetheless)

Sometimes, her voice sounded a bit like Dido (which I also like) and Horan (of Clazziquai, which I like as well) but she is distinctive on her own.

I won't say anything about the lyrics, cause I can't understand Korean enough to save my life, but her English is quite alright, though on her Earthling (track 9) track, the chorus goes this way:

"My love hold me now
My love heal me now
Cause you are my medicine and I'll be your medicine"

A bit of an odd usage of words there, but hey, maybe the Korean parts make it up from there. I'm not complaining. Her album is under the genre of experimental anyway. And as you know, experimental can also mean non-conservative lyrics.

Just to warn you again: There's a bit of a 70's style (the ones you hear on Light.fm), a little disco-ish, especially for track 11. I'm listening to it and was thinking of bell bottoms and platform shoes already.

But I like the experimental/electronica/rock feel to this album. When mixed together nicely, it's seriously a good earful. (Haha. earful.)

Check out the rest of her songs on YouTube.

I'm bias. I'm giving this 4.7 stars out of 5.

Valentine's Drama

(Play the song while you read. I think it will add much to the emotions of the story. Haha. nb: it's gonna be cheesy. Didn't say I didn't warn you.)



I wish I can live in a fictitious world.

I can hold his hand and sing to him without feeling embarrassed in public. We maybe can walk to the park everyday, feel within our palms the warmness of our perspiration, which then cools down while we hold each others' hands again to warm our hearts up. Birds would fly across our heads and sing in their chorus.

When time stands still, we'd continue to sit by the stream to watch the sunset in ten different cities, capturing our laughter on the Polariod. We'd be able to frolic around like little children, our joy fills us throughout the day and all the way till tomorrow.

We would capture ourselves in slow motion, amidst a frenzy of haste, we would be able to see each others' hair slowly moving in the wind, our hearts being clearer for each other. We would be able to understand each other much better.

Now and then, a beautiful instrumental will play and we can savor those moments of true emotions. The sun will be in our eyes, the seas will not billow and roll, our fingers intertwined with our hearts in unison.

Not to forget, the villain will pose threats to our lives and yet again, another instrumental plays, showing us the urgency of the moment. Who will be the damsel in distress? Who will stand up to fight? Who will go and rescue our love? How great that reconciliation would be! With the enemy defeated and the victory won. Our tears would not have flown in vain. Wounds would heal and relationships would have been strengthened.

Once again, my fingers trailed yours, following the outlines one by one. Oh, how I will miss them when you are gone. How I will wish to be embraced by those big but gentle hands. My tears fall at night to think of your departure, my mind only registers your silhouette. And I had your hand to hold. Montages of our time together will flash before me, accompanied by another beautiful instrumental.

If I start to forget you, or who you are to me, I am only saved by your unconditional love. If we are trapped in a twilight zone, traveling back and forth, you would align your time to mine. And I would yours. I'd run to you after I read your worded confession and I would find you.

Of course, I would always miss him by seconds. I would be on the bus, he would just arrive at the station. He would be going into a lift, I will be coming out from another. We would find opposition from every side, and he would sometimes cry but I would not be able to see it. My pain, he would not see. But the other day when I tried to break up with him, he spotted me at the back of the taxi and started chasing the taxi. I, however, just cried and ask the driver to speed up.

You must have felt betrayed then, did you not?

And we will have montages of our time together flash before us at separate times but at the same heartbeat. Remember that ice-cream that fell on the ground? We were so hungry and greedy we both wanted to have that cherry. We then laughed at each others' distressed look. You looked so disappointed. Oh, do you remember the time when I was frightened by the cockroach? That was the first time we met.

If I could see your montage, I would see that when I almost drowned the other day, how you looked so frightened, so helpless and so dejected. You thought I would die that night. That was when you teared for the first time. I wished I could quickly wake up, throw in some sarcastic remark or simply just wipe away your tears. You would quickly wipe it before you see me I'm sure. You always tell me that men don't cry easily.

You would piggyback me, remember? I admit I am a clumsy girl, always breaking my heels, and you would chastise me, ask me to stop buying heels and start wearing flats, though I flatly refused. You thought you have got me converted to sneakers and Crocs, but I still beat you, my heels still won, though I still break them.

If we ever needed to break up, when times are tough and when both declared that we are both tired, I tried to let him go and he I. I would lock myself in the house and curl up on the bed and bury my tears under the sheets. He would drink himself to oblivion and curse himself for being so weak. If not, he would run to the edge of a cliff, a bridge or the beach and start yelling in exasperation. He is only human, and the separation would break both our hearts.

We will then rejoice in our reunion. I would run into his arms and squeal in delight. The big but gentle hands I greatly remember. He would light up fireworks for me and the whole park would be booked. We would skate on an empty rink, snuggle in front of the fire, swim together in the ocean, get stuck on a Ferris wheel or a cable car, ride bicycles together, wear couple shirts, read books together, watch a movie, watch the sunset and sunrise together, frolic in the water, wash the car together, take silly shots of ourselves...like how every other normal couples would do.

And with another beautiful instrumental, we would rock in our chairs as we start to lose our memory and agility, our hands still holding each others', till we close our eyes and are no more.


That is, if we lived in a fictitious world.

But even if we did not, I would still want to hold his hand and feel his big but gentle hand holding mine. Till I close my eyes and am no more.




(This story is fiction. I wanted to add some extra cheesiness, but even I got goosebumps. Eg. You must have felt betrayed then, did you not, darling? Ugh.

Happy Valentine's, everyone.)

The Dolphin Without A Fin 2

Why am I still writing this? Hmm. Food for thought.

*

The young dolphin finally got out from that 100 feet parameters. It was very strange, to see how one's parents would suddenly let go of him. He was almost sure that once he crossed the 100 feet boundary, his father or mother will come and get him.

101 feet...102 feet...103 feet...110 feet...120 feet...200 feet...

At first he swam gingerly, slowing down so that his parents would bring him back. When he reached the 200s, he felt sure that his parents have not noticed and he was free. He was free!

Such a revelation was too much to attain. It was like a dream come true. It was not that he did not appreciate his parents doting upon him, but rather, he just wanted to explore the world a bit and now he could. Telling himself not to turn back, he kept his eyes focused in front and occasionally went up to the surface to get some air. Then he would continue his journey.

At first, it was interesting, to see different species of fishes and all the odd and wonderful creatures of the undersea, corals too. Then, he began to feel lonely. He has never been away from home for long and was beginning to feel homesick. Maybe I should go back now. He often tell himself when he was tired and sick. But the problem was he did not know which way is home.

He has lost his way. Though he was an adult, he was still young in age and experience. The dolphin became depressed. When he went up to the surface for air, he would reminisce about how he would often went up for air with his parents back home.

The dolphin decided to find his way back home. He asked the fishes around him, described to them about his home, but they either laughed or shake their heads in ignorance. One day, he met a fish, who have seen both whales and dolphins before, and asked the fish if it knew the place he described.

Oh, how the fish stared and stared. It was as if it has never seen a strange sight like that before. The dolphin or that strange creature in front of it did not look like a dolphin though having its characteristic bottle-nose, but it is definitely not a whale. The fish, unable to contain its curiousity, asked: "Are you a dolphin?"

The dolphin felt a little annoyed and was taken aback by the question. He was asking if the fish knew how to go back home, not to be asked if he was a dolphin or not! He was unhappy, and as depressed as he was, he ignored the question and swam off.

But the fish was determined. It pursued the dolphin and continued to asked. Flustered and depressed, the dolphin turned and tried to silence the fish forever. He bursted out, "I'm a whale and I will eat you if you don't shut up!"

The fish, wherever it got its bravery from, instead of running away, stared very hard at the dolphin. The dolphin wondered why the fish did not balk at its threat. He tried again and said the same things again.

At the second time, the fish seemed to understood. Again, however, instead of running away or retreating, the fish stared for a second and suddenly burst into laughter.

Now the dolphin was furious. What is the meaning of all this tomfoolery? But before he could began to question the fish's supposed mocking, the fish spoke and asked, "Why do you have such a nose?"



Wrote this in Singapore, first night. Am reading The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins. Nothing to do with dolphins, but interesting book. I should have written about the whale instead. Next chapter.

The Dolphin Without A Fin 1

I am suddenly all geared up to go and write again. In English (only because my command of Chinese and Korean are much poorer) and instead of scripts, I'm again, venturing into short stories. I'm still crap at novel writing cause they are so much longer.

But of course, the more I write, the more I will get better at it. As writers always say, "Write the rubbish out of your system." So, bear with me while I sort out which goes where.

This story is inspired by a dream my lecturer had. No direct references cause that would be a little too erm. plagiarizing. Never mind if the facts are wrong.

*

There was once a dolphin birthed out in the Pacific Ocean. It had a very slick shade of oceanic blue along its body and the mother was very excited for her firstborn. Oh, but what a letdown when the parents saw the newborn. They swam around, trying to look for clues or even a hint of what is happening or what is hidden. The calf has no fin. Or rather, its dorsal fin was so underdeveloped it just looked like a small road bump on top of its body.

It was like ugly ducking all over again. The calf wobbled, trying to look for its balance, and surprisingly, it did find its balance and was soon swimming, gliding through the currents and quite enjoying itself.

The parents were devastated. What do they tell their friends and families about this? Isolation, was the only solution. Though dolphins in nature are social creatures, this particular family had to hide their shame and consternation by isolating themselves.

Friends and families of the same school started to wonder to themselves where have the family gone to? It was as if they mysteriously disappear. An uneasiness struck among them. Have they been caught by those two-legged creatures who wears funny?

However, it was soon forgotten, though some elder ones continued to talk about it and mothers used the missing family as a warning to delinquent calves.

Years went by, the dolphin without a fin grew up to be an adult. From young, he has been taught by his parents that he was not a dolphin, but a whale. He was not stupid, but he was greatly amused to see how his parents struggled to explain to him the presence of fins on their bodies but not his. But all the education had somewhat convinced him that he was a whale. Maybe he was adopted, he thinks. Yes, the parents lied. They had found him near a dead whale, newborn and hungry.

He still retained that beautiful blue on his body and still swam beautifully. It was through these two traits that gave him some pride to boast about to the fishes around him. "Look at my body. Isn't it a fantastic shade? All whales have this color and I am glad I am one of them." Though he meant well, the fishes find him strange and laugh him off.

It was not until one day that he would find his whole life was a lie. Well, maybe except for the beautiful color and graceful swimming.

Fearing for their son's predicament for ridicule, the parents have guarded him carefully. Only allowing 100 feet from their shelter. The father or mother will always keep an eye on him, making sure their son was always in sight. If he went over that 100 feet point, one of them will quickly chase after him, chastise him and bring him back. The dolphin could not understand why his parents were so obsess with him not crossing the invisible border. And like all good children, he never ask. They would lie again.

It was however, so ever tempting to be rebellious and try to see what the consequences of crossing the border was. It seemed mysterious and packed with possible adventures, and the prospect was very exciting. The dolphin looked out into the darkness of the sea and felt like he could see sparkles and blinking shoals of tasty fishes just waiting for him, like how water would look like in a distance when you are stuck in the desert.

He, like all teenagers, felt the ridiculousness of his parents, adopted or not, and was so determined to get away. His parents sensed this, and discuss it among themselves when their son was not hearing. The mother was very worried, the father was far less agitated. He once blamed his wife for bearing an 'abnormal' son during an outburst of anger, but of course, he had apologized for his berating towards her since then. It was partly his fault, maybe it was his genetic contribution instead. But the father believes his son thoroughly believes itself as a whale instead of a dolphin, never mind the size. Whales may just treat him like a newborn. And so that was how he assured her. They have done the correct education. Besides, he is young and restless, and he will not stay interested in something for long. He will grow tired of the changing climate of the seas, grow fearful of the two-legged creatures hovering above, and most of all, grow homesick.

He will come back, says the father.

*

cliched nonsense. next chapter.

Ourselves

Wrote this on the spur of the moment. Nothing that makes sense, could be just rubbish, could be something deeper. Could be some lost pearls of wisdom. Could be just some balderdash.

----

It is not too late to start.

We were always so keen to be ahead of ourselves, always so eager to be at the front line that we always tell ourselves that it is not too late to start now.

And yet, we procrastinate, thinking there is much time left. It is in the pages that we read that we find space that we need. Oh, the clutter, we would say, wanting to get rid of never-ending issues of our lives.

Still, we want to be true to ourselves, and so we face on the challenges ahead. We listen to inspiring songs, watch inspiring movies, read inspiring books, encouraging ourselves to press on, never give up. Inside of us, we are on a seemingly never-ending journey to seek out what is possibly positive about us. We are mighty, we are strong; we are but a tiny little speck. Then, we convince ourselves that even ants can carry much more than they are seemed to be able.

We are all born crying, there is nothing more satisfying than a trumpet of wails. It is our precursor in life, our habit, our way of wanting. You cry less when you grow older, you convinced yourself that crying is not manly. Even the elders tell you so. However, our way of wanting, our habit, our precursor have not subdued throughout the years. It still raves about, giving people the inability to control anything else but tears.

Where do we go from here? We laugh at the silliness of others, we laugh at the expense of others, we laugh at the expense of ourselves; we laugh in spite of laughter. It is a sensation that tingles and tickles within us, that causes our brains to react, our diaphragms to vibrate, our souls to be replenished. I was taught not to laugh so disrespectfully. I was taught not to laugh heartily. We then lose our ability to laugh, a repressed agony inside of us that becomes agony itself.

Ah, I forgot to talk about love. When it comes to love, everyone has a different opinion about it. You may think love is unsaid, I may think that love should be vocalized more often than not. When love blooms, it’s not the extravagance that we adore, though we would not mind the attention, but that when love comes, we are hopeful that it can stay, it can surround, and it can help us to become who we are, becoming ourselves. It is not for ourselves, we may say. Oh, but it is indeed for the self. We are all taught what love is and what is not, we are all entrapped by the notion of a word, or three at least; we are weakened at the sight of what lies inside a person and what lies inside ourselves when we are in love. We are all not equipped to love though we are driven to learn to equip ourselves.

Thus, when we grow older, are we becoming ourselves or are we becoming others? If we were to grow younger, though die we still shall, will we become ourselves? Will our lives in reverse be any better? I should think not. We are only but a breath, like when a wind of change comes, that breath is gone. Like a daisy, we are only but a day or maybe five at most. But I do not think that it is too late. Even if the petals are falling away, even if we start to forget those that matters, even if time does not seem to be moving as fast as we think it should, even if procrastination is no longer distracting, nor does the need for space excites us, we are still given this hour, this minute, this second. We are not asked to be heroes, to be instant stars of the universe, nor are we asked to become ourselves in a day, though that would be so appealing to the mind.

It is not too late to start, not for the sake of being in the frontline, but to be who we are to be, to be who we are when we are. Then we are truly, unabashedly, authentically ourselves.

Reading

Thanks to a certain Korean drama, 베토벤 바이러스 (Beethoven Virus), I rediscover my love for the classical orchestra. I still love strings and piano, to sit and enjoy the great classics and romanticism that composers have spent their days upon.



Thanks to a certain Korean drama 스타의 연인 (Star's Lover), I rediscover a perseverance for reading books, especially classics. I admit, all these can be just temporary. I admit, I am swayed by the soundtracks and cinematography.

If I watched 돌아온 일지매 (Return of Iljimae), I'd probably want to learn Taekwondo again. Just kidding.

It is interesting, and also unnerving that what you watch, what you listen to can really influence you.

However, I've always wanted to really like reading. I used to love them when I was a kid or younger. I used to love them when classics are remade like "Pride & Prejudice". I used to love them. Then, I grew up with the television.

Astro, you culprit.

Hallyu, you culprit.

Taiwanese variety shows & idol dramas, you culprit.

Mythbusters, you...


I am rediscovering my passion for reading. I still read, though very much sitting on modern crime fictions or legal fictions or even sci-fi, now without the time to read, even more so I need to make time for it.

I remember because I read, I wrote. Now I don't write, because I don't read. I used to post a note in Facebook saying how I can't use bombastic words...only because I don't know how to use them. Fair enough. But I see a reason for using such words, like Chinese, they are specific. Just like the word 'sad' is only a general conception of the emotion, there are so many more specific words that describe the expressions perfectly.

To quote Blackmoore in his "Lorna Doone", in short, I am an ignoramus, especially when it comes to literature (which maybe I should have taken it as a major, though halfway through the semester, I might resort to giving up, crying difficulty.), but well enough to have a vague imprint of the writers' name and books they write.

Yeah, like that is going to be so fantastic. Wikipedia can do much better than me.

I like to write, that's why I like languages (now, that is). I don't like text books still, cause they are still academically dry. But I like a good story, like The Little Prince, and I like to write good stories. So, if I want to write good plots, I should read up more, no?

Part 3...

This was spotted on our way to hometown in Perak, on the first day of Chinese New Year. It was such an amazing sight that people actually stop their cars by the roadside just to take pictures! I kid you not.













See how it becomes.

Amazing, isn't it?