Overwhelmed.

I am in a state of lost.

You know what happens when you are faced with a few things at once and the magnitude of the importance of all these suddenly just dawn upon you, rendering you feeling helpless?

I know it's induced stress. It's imaginary, because everyone goes through it and lives through it. And honestly, I can't handle stress well.

Only for one reason.

I want to stay like a child.


Childish thoughts breed childish behavior.

I think the world has still some good in it, that's why I want to believe that everyone has some positive side to them.

..I end up deceiving myself, being tongue-tied when I'm not suppose to. I'd suck as a lawyer.

I think the world can be a better place, that's why I want to write.

..I end up deceiving myself, being less than able to convince myself even with my writing. Jack of all trades, master of none...hello.


Such childish pride in me has laid its hook upon me for so long I forgot that it's time to grow up.

Therefore when responsibility comes, when a dosage of time management is required, when a larger capacity of self-discipline is required and when I have 6 assignments on my hand to finish by the end of March in proper Rebekah Lee-style, I am overwhelmed.

And I break down.

Not in tears. But in function. My brain refuses to work, mentally blocking and trying to find escape in others only to find others have work for it to do as well. My chest tightens and I am overwhelmed. In a wrong way.

I hate this mental block. It hinders my progress and I am unable to work through it. And I end up being distracted like blogging. this. *roll eyes

I hope by this Sunday it will all be finished and gone with. It's time to grow up and stop being like a child.

How does one balance herself to be an adult in a fallen world and a child in God's presence? We end up contradicting ourselves if we are not careful. We end up being overwhelmed. In a wrong way. How do we be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves? If God says its possible, it'd better be working out.

Hello, adulthood. I welcome you with a reluctance. But oh, come on anyway. I can't be so naive anymore.


I need some gunshot-like antidote to blow this mental block away.

Someone please hand me a bottle of soju.


Three cheers to adulthood. Bottom's up!