It's The Emotions

你，　找不到我了吧？
對你這樣真的很對不起
我也不清楚自己的情緒
我知道你和我只能做朋友
這是你暗示的
我明瞭了
我只能默默地祝福你
你一定要幸福
我也不會再喜歡你了

RT:

You can't find me, can you?
To treat you like this, I'm really sorry
I know you and I can only be friends
This is what you subtly told me
I understand
I can only silently bless you
You must live happily
And I won't like you anymore.

非常抱歉
對不起
我並不是那白馬王子
怪就要怪我不夠體貼
我們一起你不會快樂地
非常抱歉
你走吧
你更會找到幸福快樂
愛我是個錯誤
你不要再愛我
我並不是你想的那個人

愛我是個錯誤
你不要再愛我
因為更愛你的他在等著

RT:

I'm really sorry
Sorry
I'm not your prince in shinning armor
It's my fault to not be so gentleman
You won't be happy if we are together
I'm really sorry
You should leave
You will definitely find more happiness
Loving me is a mistake
Don't love me anymore
I'm not what you think

Loving me is a mistake
Don't love me anymore
Because he who loves you more is waiting


好悲傷哦!

今天就比較低情緒點．　我還在笑著．

(So emo!)

(Today's a little low in emotions. But I'm still smiling.)

Don't worry about me. As the title says: It's The Emotions.

Seriously, I'm not feeling emo now.




Talking about emo, I want to go SHOPPING!


Yes, the shopping itch is back and so is the SALE!


好高興哦! (So happy...)

Bored? No.

Just want to up my meme section. Haha. Lame. I know.

Trying not to feel depressed now, happy?



4 Jobs I ever had in my life:

~ JC receptionist
~ JC teacher helper
~ Secret Recipe office assistant
~ Telemarketer


4 places I have lived:

~ Shah Alam
~ Taman Mayang Jaya
~ Taiping
~ Ipoh

(it says lived. Not living.)


4 countries I have been to on vacation:

~ Singapore
~ Hong Kong
~ Thailand
~ Malaysia

4 of my favourite food:

~ anything with FISH! :) Love fish...especially filet-o-fish.
~ Fries
~ Pork ribs... hahaha...
~ Lamb chop!

4 places I would rather be right now:

~ Toronto, Canada
~ Narnia
~ Seoul, South Korea
~ Taipei, Taiwan


6 Weird things about me:
1. I am a perfectionist, yet my room is very disorganized.
2. I wish people will come up with more creative memes than this.
3. I critically analyze every advertisement & commercial I see.
4. I like to maintain a very cool face about everything, as in unemotional. But that doesn't seem to be working.
5. I always like to imagine story ideas when I'm in the car or any vehicle that is moving.
6. I must always say what I want to calculate out loud, but never seem to be able to compute it in my head at the same time. So I can say "What's 40-20?" and I cannot process it in my brain at the same time. Yes, even if the maths is as simple as 40 minus 20.


(hmm....have I done this? Oh well.)

November, 1997

1) How old were you? eleven.
2) Where did you go to school? yuk chai, pj
3) Where did you work? i own my own country.
4) Where did you live? taman mayang jaya
5) Where did you hang out? playground
6) Did you wear glasses? no
7) Who was your best friend? forgot.
8) How many tattoos did you have? none
9) How many piercings did you have? a pair at the ear lobes.
10) What car did you drive? i fly on the bike.
11) Had you been to a real party? yeah, during World Children's Day. Whatever happened to that? I want a World Children's Day again...
12) Had your heart broken? what was that?

November, 2002

1) How old were you? sixteen. form 4.
2) Where did you go to school? smkdj
3) Where did you work? my country crumbled and disappeared. so i have no choice but study.
4) Where did you live? same place.
5) Where did you hang out? playground. HAHA... nolah. erm. CF most definitely. school canteen.
7) Who was your best friend? the other 6 cengalians, amanda, liza, mae, brian, a bunch of others i cannot quite remember now.
8) Who was your regular-person crush? form 4...hmmm...i think it was a tall guy. but i also think it's someone else. ah, yeah, that fella. suave, charming, speaks cantonese...oh well.
9) How many tattoos did you have? none.
10) How many piercing did you have? still the same.
11) What car did you drive? legs.
12) Had you had your heart broken? yeah. the fella broke it.

November, 2007
1) How old are you? twenty one.
2) Where do you work? at home and uni.
3) Where do you live? pjU, ara jaya.
4) Do you wear glasses? yeah, for computer screen purposes. it's actually very lightly tinted sunglasses.
5) Where do you hang out? 1U, curve, ikano, church, mamak, uni...Giant Kelana Jaya....HAHAHHA...yea.
6) Who is your best friend? li qin, sherry, carissa, chia pei, paulynn, nick, siu fai?, liza, manda, ... God.
8 ) Do you talk to your old friends? yes. no. depends on how old is old.
9) How many piercing do you have? same.
10) How many tattoos? none.
11) What kind of car do you drive? MANUAL kelisa.
12) Has your heart been broken? nope. don't want to open it for now. sick of liking someone and not having him liking you back at the same time.



Layer ONE: On the Outside
Name: rebekah lee cj / chajjye
Birth Date: 20th AUGUST, not october.
Current status: single, approach with guts and caution and backup heart.
Eye Color: brownish black. don't know.
Hair Color: black with blondish, brownish highlights.
Righty or Left: right
Zodiac Sign: roar.

Layer TWO: On the Inside
Your Heritage: chinese
Your Fear: heights (falling) and cockroaches, esp them flying ones.
Your Weaknesses: being too melancholy at times.
Your Perfect Pizza: crunchy crust, cheesy, and lots of pineapples.

Layer THREE: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: must..turn...off...alarm...TOBYMAC!
Your bedtime: 12,1,2,3 am.
Your most missed memory: eating cinammon roll when i was young at subang parade.

Layer FOUR: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: vanilla coke or pepsi twist...used to be pepsi blue. but no longer exist.
McD or Burger King: mcDs
Single or Group Dates: group
Adidas or Nike: vincci, hahaha...i mean...sport shoes wise, skechers gua.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: green tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: VANILLA! and dark chocolate only.
Cappucino or Coffee: don't drink coffee. latte if you must.

Layer FIVE: Do You...
Smoke: nope. we hates it.
Curse: erm. does "nandatayo" and "what in the world" and "monkey" count?

Layer SIX: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: nope.
Gone to the mall: yes, want to go shopping during YES!
Been on stage: yes...eh, past month ah. No wor.
Eaten sushi: nope.
Dyed your hair: highlighted.

Layer SEVEN: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: no.
Changed who you were to fit in: quite normal sometimes.

Layer EIGHT:
Age you're hoping to be married: depends whether there is that right guy that fits the bill. if not, just leave it as it be. single's cool.

Layer NINE: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye Color: dark
Hair Color: depends. ang mo or chinese?
Short or Long Hair: short hair. definitely.

Layer TEN: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago: meme-ing.
1 hour ago: meme-ing.
4.5 hours ago: sleeping
1 month ago: still relaxing.
1 year ago: stressed over assignments.

Layer ELEVEN: Finish The Sentence
I love: great cinematography, plot and film score + soundtrack.
I feel: a little depressed and stressed out. that's why i am doing this.
I hate: me being hypocritical.
I hide: my joy and always showing I am melancholy.
I miss: a train ride.
I need: money to shop.


Okay. Enough with memes.

"We're On The Yellow Brick Road..."

I still remember my fascination with the Wizard of Oz, back when Judy Garland stepped into a Technicolor world from her black and white Kansas.

picture by game-research.com

I still remember my fascination with the Chronicles of Narnia, when they showed Lucy stepping into the ice and snow-capped landscape from the furry wardrobe. I mean, the wardrobe with many fur coats.

picture by content.answers.com

I would like to see how Malaysian movies can do better with their cinematography and art direction.

I believe we have the technology.

picture by tms.org

And I believe if we really wanted to create a Titanic or a Lord of the Rings sized of production, we can do it.

picture by thecia.com.au

But...


We have yet much to improve upon.



Maybe I should go to film school.


Lalala...

Here's one to Sherry.

picture by allmoviephoto.com

WooHoo

Finally got my copy of TobyMac's Portable Sounds!

I looked everywhere except One Utama for this.

So I went 1U to look for something else a.k.a Love Actually.

To my chagrin, there is nowhere that has Love Actually.


So, fine. I go to MPH first, then I was so elated to see this:

WooHoo! I forgot about Love Actually for a while and buy this straightaway.

Yay yay...now I got his album....yay yay yay...


But I never got Love Actually though I ran through all the movie shops in 1U. Love Actually seems to be actually...missing. There isn't a single CD/VCD/DVD about Love Actually. There is 'The Holiday' but that's not the show I need to watch for assignments.

Gosh, is it too restricted that they can't sell it?

I couldn't find S'kali also.


What is wrong with all these shops?


This is a cool video of Feelin' So Fly by TobyMac in his new album Portable Sounds. It's done during their tour break.

...You got me feeling so fly
There ain't a day that goes by
A supernatural high
Oh my goodness - people I can't deny....

....time to go groove to his music...woohoo!

XJP

Will be going down to Singapore.

I know, I've said before I don't really like Singapore. I prefer Hong Kong, but that doesn't mean I am boycotting that place. I just want to go see their museums, attractions (not Sentosa) and others that Singapore can offer.

Actually quite looking forward to sitting a train again, especially night train. I always like trains. Got nostalgic feeling.

Actually I can't really say that Singapore don't bring good memories. The reason I don't like Singapore is purely the 环境 (environment) that doesn't fit with me. (Hint: it's too clean. no dirt at all! I have stayed too long in Malaysia to appreciate a little mess. Not too much, but a little disorganization makes it human.) But Singapore has good memories for me. For memories wise, I like both Singapore and Hong Kong. :) (what a contradictory person. like, then don't like...fickle fickle.)

picture from www.votrubicon.org

I remember when I was young like about 3 years old, I went down to Singapore with my family. I had my first McDonald's Filet-O-Fish in the familiar dark cyan old packaging. It was since then I have loved Filet-O-Fish till today.

I also remembered taking the train down. It was night time, I was so excited, I remember the bunk beds, it was like yesterday I just took the train. I remember waking up dazed looking out and remembering the place called "Woodlands".

Those are the most significant moments. The rest? Only through pictures I remember. We visited lots of places...the zoo, the rock museum...(HAHA...don't ask me why. The museum had rocks. Just rocks.)

So Xin Jia Po has quite a number of memories...but...maybe it's just me. I felt almost like a convict when I crossed the road without any zebra crossing when I visited Singapore back in 2001. Shhh...Don't tell anyone else. Haha...strict rules. In Kuala Lumpur, ... to Timbuktu with all those traffic lights and zebra crossings and pedestrian bridges. Got road? No car? Cross! Run!

Yes. What a wonderful country we live in.

Then, Singapore racers/drifters would love to come into Malaysia to race on our highways.



Singaporeans.

A Pause In Time

It was childish of me to get so frustrated with a problem I can solve.

But I shall not regret that frustration. It is through that, I find the truth of my life and the solution to it.

Very beautiful, will talk about it next time. It has to do with a sudden outburst of frustration in tears and ending up with keying Proverbs 3: 5 - 6 into my phone.

What a wonderful God I have!


Anywayz.

I shall work from back. I always love to work from the solution. Even with maths. Give me the end solution and the problem and I will give you the middle gist. Hahaha...so cheating right. That's why I loved that trigonometric proving question. It's tough as me playing Halo (cause I never play) but I already have the solution.

Yeah, I am always one for spoilers. Lazy lazy.

But since I am so bent on wanting to make a short film that my whole day and night is just consumed by it, (well, almost.) I will work with my lecturer to work backwards. Never mind that problem first, solution later. Cause now I can't think of a problem or question. So, work backwards.

I have been thinking what a jack I am sometimes. Jack as in jack in many trades, master of none.

Honestly.

I am good in singing, but not A-Mei or Fish Leong good.

I know I have some talent for writing songs, but my Chinese inhibits me to become like Vincent Fang.

I know I can play by ear and so play the piano and guitar, but I didn't finish my training. So I am stuck in Grade 5 and never up much like Michael Wong or Penny Tai.

I am good in writing, but I am no Chong Sheau Ching or Yasmin Ahmad.

I know I have a knack for directing or all that, but I'm no Yasmin Ahmad.

I know how to create graphics, but I can't go further. I am not even Enoch Liew good. :P


I mean, I'm not comparing myself to them lah. They are like so good in what they do and yes, I can learn to be that good. But get this: I can do many things, but it's gonna be average in media eyes or as best as how I can do it. That's why I say I'm jack of many trades, master of none.

No, I'm not being self-piteous or low self-esteem or melancholic. I am being practical. Currently, I am limited by me being jack of many trades and master of none. None! Not even one!

So yeah. It's pretty sad and yet, challenging. Cause now I have a choice. Either to be master of all or master of one or master of two. I am not going to stick with jack of all trades, master of none again.

But whether or not it comes true, that depends on me now, doesn't it?

So Fast.

Now I'm back to square one.

I realised that now I am on the wrong track again. I am focusing on short film as a the media form. NOT the FYP.

So now I have to squeeze my brain again to LOOK for an opportunity or whatever that can be researched, that is challenging, that will solve a problem.

And I still have to come up with an end-product. Film or not.



And currently, my brain can't think of anything.

Suddenly, I feel as if I should have taken film and television production instead of this course.

Not that this course isn't good.

I'm just totally, crappily, unhappily unable to think of any ideas.



I think I shall go and sleep.

As the good epitome says: When you can't think of anything, sleep. It sure helps to clear your brain.

picture by gettyimages.com

I am not in the wrong course. I just want to do another course. Maybe. Don't know lah. Now I want to go back to film production. Before that I wanted to go into the Chinese music industry. So confusing. I know, I'll get a triple degree!


As the good Hokkien-speaking community will say: "Siao zha bo." (crazy woman)


Sigh.


yes, sleep.

Short Film

Most probably be creating a short film for my FYP (final year project). I even started a blog for the production notes! HAHA. What an ambitious fella. Anywayz, will be recording my frus and my joys about this FYP. Most of the time I will be only writing in a few short paragraphs. On the other hand, I've said to myself last night, or rather, this morning: "I am a jack of many trades, master of none."

Well said. Here's the site address:
http://penningchajjye.blogspot.com

OMG...

These are the things that will shock you sometimes...though it shouldn't. He was after all, one of the shy heartthrobs in SMKDJ...

How the story started?

I was leafing through my sister's Female magazine and it was that issue that has their 50 gorgeous people.

Well well well....what do you know. Before that, I actually stumbled upon a very familiar face.

I found out that "Eh, that's Phoebe!" Yeah...old school friends. Was very surprised to see her there. Wah...now become model. So chun.

And I thought the surprise ends there. Mana tau (how would I know) there's a bigger surprise awaiting.

I was going through the 50 gorgeous and then I saw this picture:

And I was thinking, looks cute...wait a minute. He looks familiar...then I saw the name:

OMG...it's John-Son Oei! The guy from SMKDJ last time! We used to talk! He used to attend the same church! He used to be in my cell group! His brother used to be in my cell group! We used to talk! He used to wear specs! ... He was thinner then. Wah...

picture from femalemag.com.my

Now he's one of Female's 50 Gorgeous People.

What a small world. Not that we talk now lah. But still.


So, if you like him. Please click here. :)


See, now, you have officially voted for him. :)


What a gimmick.

But seriously, I did know John-son. Then. He and his brothers have one of those unique name combinations like Yun's parents. Nice, interesting parents.

And if he wins, you do get to meet him and other gorgeous finalists...lots of eye candy. Haha...

Horrr....naughty naughty.


Talking bout shy heartthrobs, my cousin brother seems to be one. When he was down in KL the other time, gosh, so many girls stared at him for so long, it was like as if Brad Pitt/Lee Hom/Prince William/Zac Efron/Orlando Bloom (okay, so maybe not everyone of you like him)/(name your heartthrob here __________________) landed in front of them. Even his sisters were mildly disgusted by it. I still remember the description my mom made: "They are also already drooling!" But my cousie is a very very very very very shy boy. But also very sweet. Very gentleman and chivalrous.

Lalalalala...


Edit: this Eddie Peng looks so cute in his portrayal as Yang Qi Lang (click to see picture) in Shao Nian Yang Jia Jiang (no, not the war picture.). He's the youngest kid in the family, before his eighth sister, so he's a bit spoiled. But he does look very cute and mischievous as compared to the more solemn Yang Si Lang played by Peter Ho (which later in 2007 he played the oh-so-chivalrous-Liang-Shan-Bo!)

Funeral

Remember I written once about writing a funeral song?

Well, here it is.

鍾聲敲著十二午夜
我躺在床上臥不安
腦海里有你的影像
不斷地返回飄揚

我寂寞不是第一次
只是這次會較孤單
我發現我無法掉淚
默傻地等到天亮

你離開的時候
沒有那熟悉的笑
天雖然沒黑了
但我卻已明瞭

我牽不到你的手
永遠聽不到你的笑
離開人間是祂安排
不能再回來
我唯一選擇就是放開
你必定是更快乐
天堂多了你一個天使
你不用為我擔憂
我一定會好好地活下來
把心門給敞開

我數你離開的日子
一天一夜漫長過去
我想念你扮的鬼臉
常凝結在相片里

沒有你少了嬉笑聲
氣氛也不覺得熱烈
我站在陽台邊嘆息
淚眼凝霜哭不起

你離開的時候
沒有那溫柔目光
天雖然沒降雨
但我卻已明瞭

上帝啊求祢賜力量給我
讓我不再狼狽
安心地讓她走

我牽不到你的手
永遠聽不到你的笑
離開人間是祂安排
不能再回來
我唯一選擇就是放開
你必定是更快乐
天堂多了你一個天使
你不用為我擔憂
我一定會好好地活下來

真希望能重來

Rough translation:
The clock sounds at 12 midnight
I lie in my bed, can't sleep
There is your image in my mind
Going back and forth non-stop

This is not the first time I'm lonely
Only this time I will feel more alone
I find that I can't cry
Silently wait for the morning

When you left
There wasn't that familiar smile
The day didn't turn dark
But I already understand

I can't hold your hand
I can never hear your laugh
He's the One who plans the departure from living
There's no returning
My only choice is to let go
You must be happy now
The heavens seem to have added one more angel/saint
Don't worry about me
I will live on well
I will maintain an open heart

Counting the days you are gone
A day a night seems to drag on
I miss the silly faces you make
When you take a picture

Without you, there seem to be a lack of happiness
The atmosphere seem to lack its shine
I stood at the balcony and sigh
My tears seem to be frozen, I can't cry

When you left
There's no longer that soft, gentle eyes
The day didn't rain
But I understand

God, please give me strength
Don't let me look so dejected
Let me let her go

I can't hold your hand
I can never hear your laugh
He's the One who plans the departure from living
There's no returning
My only choice is to let go
You must be happy now
The heavens seem to have added one more angel/saint
Don't worry about me
I will live on well

I wish I could start all over again



Yes, sad. I know. It's a guy song. Now, I just need a composer....

Making A Movie

I realised that actually this semester isn't so screwed-up after all. Well well, what do you know?

Cause now, the media students are free! ... to do whatever they want, as long they can deliver the end-product.

Yeah, I'm talking about end-product.

I really want to step into the waters of making a short film at about 20 minutes.

But looking at the enormous amount of work and the lack of equipment, cash and skill, I am really unsure if I should do it.

I mean, I have done theater before, writing, directing and producing a 15-minute play. But that is not a one-man show. I had the whole of Upper 6 Seroja to help me.

Now it is to be a one-man show. And it requires more time, energy, money and skill. Cause now I have to write the screenplay, find the actors, set the budget & schedule, direct, make production sets if needed, record sound, compose music, synchronise, edit, integrate and film the whole thing myself.

WOW. That's a lot of work.

Someone please give me RM 10,000 so I can film without killing myself first.


Okay, okay. God will provide. So I don't need to kill myself at all.


So tell me, do you think this is a sane idea? Or am I just totally over my head?

As the good Koreans will say... "미쳤어???!!!!" ("ARE YOU CRAZY??!!!")

Itch

I don't know why I always face this problem:

Once I posted a post up, there seems to be something else unsaid..then I add on another post.


Like this one here.

I have to look through a company that uses new media business endeavors a.k.a virtuality, digital, interactivity, hypertext and dispersal.

Anyone knows one?

I am looking through and if Li Qin was in this assignment project together, she would go for the cutest name like Puppy Doodle Entertainment. Never mind the relevance.

Getting on with assignments. It's pretty sucky at the moment, I must say. I am totally clueless. This has got to be the most screwed-up semester yet. Thanks to subjects as confusing as Research Methods.

Lie Lie Lie

After that insensible cold joke, it's time for me to up a song I have written. Full song this time. In simplified Chinese too!

I wrote this song with just wanting to give an outlet to those girls who get cheated by their boyfriend over and over. Please, wake up from your dream. (Eh, I should write another song about that! :)) If he lies to you again and again, really, why are you settling for him? There are better guys out there, I believe. And that guy, repent you sinner. What if the tables are turned? You'd be tasting your own bitter medicine.

Ha. I'm sexist now. Haha.

那天我在公园
站在我们的树底下
名字的雕刻已被覆罩
模糊的刻影
就像我的心
剩下一丝的印象

我抓不到
渐淡薄的记忆
脑海中只充满
你昨天说的话

一切都是谎言
立诺言只是你的借端
使我爱上你的潇洒
遮盖我双眼
认为你真的爱我
我已经明了了
你留下的蛛丝与征候
真像个傻瓜
相信你的话
我不会一而再犯错

悲伤爱情的影片
仿佛变成了我故事
韩剧的主角正在掉泪
心中的苦涩
无话可形容
最好就是扮okay

你看不到
眼泪藏在眶里
一直安慰自己
别再为你煎熬

我的一份心已交给你
想念你不想念你
纸巾殷满垃圾桶
我不想往后看

RT:
That day I was in the park
I stood under our tree
Our names once carved have already been carved over/covered
The shadowy remains
Just like my heart
Only has a little significance left

I cannot grasp
The fading memory
My mind only could remember
The words you said yesterday

All these are lies
Making promises is only your excuse
To make me fall in love with you
My eyes are blinded
I thought you really love me
I finally understood
Those traces and hints you left
Just felt like a fool
In believing you
I won't repeat my mistakes again

Melodrama romance in the movies
Are becoming my story
The main character in the Korean drama is crying
The sorrow of my heart
Can't be described
The best is to just act okay

You can't see
The tears hiding in my eyes
Keep on encourage myself
Not to suffer for you again

I gave you a piece of my heart
To miss you or not
The rubbish bin is filled with tissue paper
I really don't want to look back



Lala...melo. I know. Not as melo as my funeral song. Hahaha.

Enjoy!

Once I can ace my singing and playing and have a home studio, I'll post up the proposed melody. Really, I am just a lyricist. It's not that easy to compose. I can direct MVs though. I love doing that..........................................................................


Drama queen...dreaming only.

edit: I just experienced a short wave of blackout. it's like my eyeballs are going to pop out from my sockets. Eugh.

The Day That Goes By...

picture taken by Jessica Yeap.

The one with the fedora hat speaks.

"Jika gajah jadi itik,

Jika ayam jadi itik,

Itik jadi apa?"


Everyone

please

support

my

songs

and

buy

for

me

a

Sony

digital

camera

like

the

T-10.

Isn't

it

fabulous?

Yeah

I

know

I

seem

to

be

running

out

of

topics

to

talk

about.

No?

Sorry-lah.

Will

talk

about

more

interesting

stuff

next

time

yeah?

You

can

get

me

a

Sony

digital

camera

like

the

T-10

for

a

start.

Hahahaha.

The

answer

to

the

riddle

is:

"Itik...jadi...















BANYAK!"

I

know

it's

lame.

I

heard

it

today.

Siu Fai was the one who said it. Even Allan couldn't take it. Hee.


If you are interested in him, please go and read this article and go vote for him in his blog. You have only 10 days left to vote.

Of All The Silly Things...

Did you read Kenny's post about his missing hamster?

Gosh, you should also read the comments. All the things they say.

I think the most hilarious one is this:


Okay, don't worry kenny, i am going to catch one RAT tonight, then colors it like your HAMSTER.


Poor Kenny.

Initiative

Just recently completed a song.

I know, most of you would be like "Another song?!"

Hey, I told you I write songs.

Then after that, I might take a break.

HAHAHA...




Whatever am I talking about. How can I ever take a break? Writing songs is my joy!


By the way, I got this question to ask every guy and girl:

I know girls are sometimes playing hard to get. And guys just seemed to be like "Should I make the first move or not? Cause I might look like I'm desperate." So all they do is glance, stare, try to make eye contact or even strain to listen to the girl's voice if they sit a few seats/rows away.

Honestly, if a guy keeps on staring at me, I would think, "Did I do my hair properly? Or I have a huge zit on the tip of my nose?" But nevertheless, I would be somewhat flattered. And scared. And curious. And wish that he would stop staring and glancing my way once in a while and start saying hi. Just be friends first. I know it's always that admiring/liking/loving-from-a-distance...but I always think that guys should always take the initiative. Girls like heroes. No, I'm not talking about the show. But I do know that many, if not all like someone to come up to them and compliment them or say hi. Someone who takes initiative.

(Girls can be seemed as desperate if they initiate/approach the guy first. Guys get freaked out!)

So yeah, chances are we might be just freaked out all the way back to Venus. It was like when this guy in the cafeteria said to me the other time "You look cute today." and I got a little Korean-like, almost giving him that "HUH?!" look. (For Korean fans, it's the "네?!" (neh?) or "뭐라고?!" (what?))

But though I have doubts about the line and the cute part, I smiled and thank him.

And honestly, not every girl know how to respond to those stuff, girls like me. And so sometimes I do doubt if those glances and stares are really for me or really that I look as if I just woke up and haven't comb my hair.

Either way, I think there should be a space for everyone to be a little cordial and friendly. Take up your guts, men, and say hi. Don't leave anonymous notes. I hate it when I don't know who the author is. It's annoying. Take up your guts and own up!

Not only so, I think girls should be allowed to be give signs that they are okay with the guy coming forward. It's not an easy task. Cause signs can be misread. But I believe if the girl returns your glances, gives you eye contact, smile to herself after that, it means: Approach with caution! It's okay, say hi to me.

So, my question is:

Would you like it if the opposite sex came up to you and said hi, instead of trying to get you looking at her/him or keep on glancing at you?

Generic question.



Preferably? I would rather you come up and say hi.

Staging Out

You know how we always talk about being cool, being popular, being all that...?

Honestly, when I was helping out the LOUD! concert in Dream Centre yesterday, I saw the XYZ Worship Team members up on stage leading worship and honestly, though I find Siu Fai's fedora/trilby hat reminded me so much of TobyMac , somehow I have this tiny tiny voice within me that said "I miss being up there."


this is tobymac.
pictures from itickets.com and trueartist.org

I know, I know. Don't point your fingers at me.

It's wrong. It's right. It's itching.

I enjoy and don't enjoy being on stage, using my talents.

I'm not perfect. I do get a little desire now and then to want to show off.


Yah yah..like I have anything to show off.

Juwita Suwito was superb though. That humbled me a bit.



Or not.


Just made me wanted to go and train my voice, write more songs and smile more.


Not bad, not bad. At least I want to improve.


So I'm not really ready for big stage. I got a mind of my own and sometimes I like to sing things my way. Yeah, not very submissive. But I think it would be good to start again. Just to humble myself. Funny how you need to be up to be humbled.






On the other hand, I wrote a funeral song.






*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*







Yeah, sounds morbid. Not really.





p/s: when I said that SF's fedora/trilby reminded me of TobyMac, it's not a bad thing. In fact, he looks really cool in it. (will show the picture if I ever get my hands on any picture of the night concert) Like TobyMac. But of course got his own style lah...(after he feel a little "compared" :P) So, Siu Fai, keep up the good fashion sense! :P

Imagination

This week I am without any new songs.

I am forced to think creative.

No longer a quick judgment on things I see.

This is what happen when you are in this industry.

Giving you another snippet of one of my old songs. :) This is a pretty long song, I was thinking the melody as something nostalgic. A little Theresa Teng. Hehe.

사랑합니다
这是我的真心话
미안해요
别惦记我的过错
고맙습니다
有你无限的忍耐
我只能用这样的方法
来表达这三句话
唱着给你听呀

Rough translation:

I love you
This is from my heart
I'm sorry
Don't remember my wrongdoings
Thank you
For your unlimited patience
I can only use this way
To tell you these three sentences
By singing it to you


Don't think I write good songs. There are times I write bad songs. That is when I am desperate to write. So never write when you are desperate. :)

And that's a song for you!