A Pause In Time

It was childish of me to get so frustrated with a problem I can solve.

But I shall not regret that frustration. It is through that, I find the truth of my life and the solution to it.

Very beautiful, will talk about it next time. It has to do with a sudden outburst of frustration in tears and ending up with keying Proverbs 3: 5 - 6 into my phone.

What a wonderful God I have!


Anywayz.

I shall work from back. I always love to work from the solution. Even with maths. Give me the end solution and the problem and I will give you the middle gist. Hahaha...so cheating right. That's why I loved that trigonometric proving question. It's tough as me playing Halo (cause I never play) but I already have the solution.

Yeah, I am always one for spoilers. Lazy lazy.

But since I am so bent on wanting to make a short film that my whole day and night is just consumed by it, (well, almost.) I will work with my lecturer to work backwards. Never mind that problem first, solution later. Cause now I can't think of a problem or question. So, work backwards.

I have been thinking what a jack I am sometimes. Jack as in jack in many trades, master of none.

Honestly.

I am good in singing, but not A-Mei or Fish Leong good.

I know I have some talent for writing songs, but my Chinese inhibits me to become like Vincent Fang.

I know I can play by ear and so play the piano and guitar, but I didn't finish my training. So I am stuck in Grade 5 and never up much like Michael Wong or Penny Tai.

I am good in writing, but I am no Chong Sheau Ching or Yasmin Ahmad.

I know I have a knack for directing or all that, but I'm no Yasmin Ahmad.

I know how to create graphics, but I can't go further. I am not even Enoch Liew good. :P


I mean, I'm not comparing myself to them lah. They are like so good in what they do and yes, I can learn to be that good. But get this: I can do many things, but it's gonna be average in media eyes or as best as how I can do it. That's why I say I'm jack of many trades, master of none.

No, I'm not being self-piteous or low self-esteem or melancholic. I am being practical. Currently, I am limited by me being jack of many trades and master of none. None! Not even one!

So yeah. It's pretty sad and yet, challenging. Cause now I have a choice. Either to be master of all or master of one or master of two. I am not going to stick with jack of all trades, master of none again.

But whether or not it comes true, that depends on me now, doesn't it?