Lazy Me

Now that new year is coming, I'm getting pretty lazy now. SIgh...and I still have not done my website yet...sorry guys...don't think will be up on the 1st of January...maybe I will try my best to launch it before Chinese New Year.

Christmas, come and go. This year...I kept turning my head, looking around...looking for somebody...I want a surprise but I didn't get it. If I believe in Santa, I would have regretted not writing him a letter...

Dear Santa,
I wish...oh bother, you SHOULD know what I wish for.

Not much surprises this year. Maybe I'm growing older. Maybe I'm growing meaner and grumpier like an old maid...that's why I have become quite forgettable...sometimes lerr...well, I still remember myself, and God still remembers me, that's a nice thought.

I miss mornings.

I think the first thing I will miss about school is the 5 a.m. quiet time I used to wake up and spend with God...I loved those times. I miss mornings because the air is fresher, and more quieter...unlike late night, it doesn't have a heavy smoky smell about it...it's fresh, like during the night, all creation (minus us human) will sort of get alive and walk around...reminds me of dryads in Narnia's Prince Caspian.

I still remember breathing the fresh air, listening to bugs and nothing else...there, I can hear nature, I can hear heaven...peaceful...though only for a while.

I should. I should run to Fraser's or Cameron's and just sit by a chair outside the rooms and just be still...sometimes, I do wish that I can be still. Too many things going on, too many hustle and bustle...I feel sick and tired of the noise. I WANT SILENCE! But not the dead silence...I want the serene silence. Bugs can still play their symphony, but other than that, no contamination from our meddling hands.

Sometimes I feel as if I am Miss Desperate. I wish for a surpise but none came to me. I just wish...just wish that I don't need to like that somebody...but I just can't stop thinking about him...really frustrating. Sigh...I need activity! Get my mind off him...but it's still hard isn't it? How not to be desperately waiting leh??? Sigh...I want to see him, talk to him, but I couldn't let myself do the talking. Sigh...silly me.

:)


+But me, I'm not giving up. I'm sticking around to see what GOD will do. I'm waiting for God to make things right. My God will hear me.+