Behind The Scene

I didn't know how stressful it is just to enter uni. All the applications, certified true copies, etc...gosh, so many things and I only have a day and half to finish all of them.

Oh well, that's what studying is all about. Okay, cool, chill...

Went back to Tmn SEA and met up with Dong/Lynn...aiyah, don't know how to call you ler. She has become so lame after CF Camp...don't know if that is a trend or maybe I haven't been talking to her for quite some time.

Went back to Yuk Chai, laughed to myself about how close I was to be teaching in the school and looking at all the small little kids that would either kill you or make you just be hysterically nuts. (Yes, I'm meaning it)

Went back to DJ, caught Ooi Jin marking books...wait..those aren't books...but he was doing something lah. He thought I was in Pizza Hut...erm...Sherry, really, what did you tell him?

Wanted to catch Juls or Sarah or Leroy or whoever, but I only could talked to Ming Huay (cause he came up to the office)...DJ has just becoming a more distant memory than it used to be, strongly clinging at the back of my head. Since I have left for 2 years ++, my juniors are now Form 5 and the people I mentored, scolded and laughed with are already in college or university.

I'm not being a "traitor" as how they would label me. As much as I loved DJ school, it has become a place for me to reminisces and maybe bring a camera to keep those memories. Other than that, even my teachers can't recognise me. No, it has nothing to do with my hairstyle. And yes, I am still thin.

I absolutely hate to have my picture taken. That's why, if anyone would want to make a picture slideshow of me would have to really search cause most of my pictures would depict me as sleeping...or plain blur...or with two dark eyebags...yeah, I totally suck in pictures. (excuse the rudeness)

Even so, I'm beginning to appreciate picture-taking more...I guess it's the culture I'm growing in. I mean...everyone in church absolutely love taking pictures. I really don't know why. I guess I must be a lil' bit more spontaneous and more photogenic. Sigh. Like Li Qin said, "101 reason why..." 101 reason why I cannot be modelling. Not that I want to.

I guess I always have been a behind-the-camera person. I mean, look at it this way...

- I was director of 2 dramas.
- I was party-planner of many parties (but never show up except more frequently recently)
- I always use letter or email or sms or phone call to communicate. I occasionally talk face to face. Only with people I'm closer to. Like my family (duh!).
- I am always the photographer.
- I am always playing the guitar behind the worship leader. (Okay, maybe that doesn't count)
- I am never the MC (don't want to be...)
- I am those people who stand at the sidelines and watch the parade goes by...
- I am always doing supporting (esp. in the office)
- I still get stage fright.
- I sit in the dark. (figuratively)
- I hardly get my picture taken. Once my hand is on the camera, you will never see me in any pictures, unless I want to.

Isn't that a great personality for being in the Multimedia industry? Team-player but hardly shows her face. Just the right kind of person to do the maintenence and support system.

Oh well, not that I crave for accolades. I don't mind not being notice, though of course there is a tiny tiny tiny tiny moment I wished I would shed my shy, introvert, quiet mask to a more flamboyant and sanguine girl...Rachael Lau is the best in this industry. Always salute her in my heart.

Like Jared and someone else said, sometimes if you are a sanguine person, when you become more quiet and more melancholic (Jared: that word again!), people would assume something is wrong. You just can't take off the grin and replace it with a more solemn attitude without anyone asking what is wrong. (italics mine) Same goes: if you are a quiet person in general, when suddenly you become super crazy and making all kinds of crazy jokes, people would ask if anything is wrong.

As for me, I guess I would be quite balanced. But only people closest to me would know that I am actually just sometimes more introspective and always in the ring with myself and many of the time just as lame as a few others combined. I would always laugh out loud, instead of the grin-less expression.

And only myself and God knows how deep I can dive into my heart and uncover the most predictable fault or unpredictable strength I never knew I had.

I am just like a globe. I just hope that inside would be a deep, red hot magma instead of the layers all turned inside out.