Adaptingly Weird...Weirdly Adapting

Went to XYZ yesterday...Saturday nite celeb too. I felt weird from the start of Leaders' Meeting till sun down. Maybe I haven't adapt to the PJ lifestyle yet..or the DUMC lifestyle yet. Maybe its just me.

I felt weird the whole day. Apart from seeing my dearest bro and other friends that I haven't met for quite some while. Suddenly felt like an alien. Totally. People are too "nice" here. Or is just that I couldn't help feeling culturally shock. I felt weird sitting among the leaders when I have absolutely no idea what was going on. I felt weird sitting among my CG members when I am as lost as some alien from outer space. I felt weird during sermon. I thought I was going to have a stroke. Right brain pain and then left side felt uncomfortable. Christine prayed, and I don't feel any better. My heart rate was 100 per minute (yes I counted). The only time when I didn't felt weird was speaking Cantonese to Nickson and Freddie. That was it. Even then I felt somehow not at ease for a while. The rest was WEIRD...maybe I should go somewhere else far far away...the change was erm...welcoming but weird. Met Irene and her friend Kel...when everyone was talking about a certain topic, the only topic I could speak about was NS...as if I was born during NS. Church somehow seemed...distant. I don't feel any kind of familarity at all. I just feel strange. Maybe I haven't adapted. I went for church camp, met the people, so I should be ready to meet something familiar..or what was familiar...Even talking to Jared Ang also feels weird. Maybe its the lame jokes that doesn't exist in the contacts of NS. Seriously, everyone else could adapt back into church life, I just can't. At least not yet.

Standing alone
With people around
The silence that fills
The noise that surrounds

Where am I?
Who am I?
How did I end up here?
How could I not adapt?
This is my life
This is my place
This is my club
My importance in life

Yet I couldn't receive
Nor could I hear
Was I too sensitive?
Or too hard-hearted?

People are too nice
I don't see it anymore
Am I blind?
Or did I saw?

Who am I now?
How can I come back?
I am no longer myself
Or so I think about

Questions questions fill my mind
Answers that did not came
Weird was the only thing I could say
And today it is still the same.

Yeah, maybe I didn't adapt back to church life yet...or maybe it is just me.



::Day and night I'll stick with GOD;I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go::