When I...

It's not long ago that I started making my own decisions. As in major decisions.

When I chose to make phone calls to some people and yak away on the phones for hours, I thought these friendships will last forever and ever.

When I chose to go into Form 6, I thought I was just following my sister's footsteps and easing my parents' financial burden.

When I chose to study media, I thought I was learning how to be a filmmaker.

When I chose to study media in UCTI, I thought I was going to be a background person, learning the tricks of the editing trade.

When I chose to write, I thought I can become an author or a scriptwriter.

When I chose to take singing, guitar and dancing classes all at once, I thought I was being all-rounded.

When I chose to be a perfectionist, I thought all will fall into place.

When I chose to be alone, I thought the world will come for me.

When I chose to look constipated, I thought someone will come for me.

When I chose to stop liking him, I thought he would come for me.

When I chose to stop liking another him, I knew I was right in doing so.

When I chose to obey Him, I thought about all the regrets I have.

But...

...None of those friendships lasted.

...I met great friends and found the night to be my best companion. And realised that I didn't want to do Sciences anymore.

...I realised there's a bigger world out there.

...I became jack of all trades, master of none.

...I realised my writing ain't that great to begin with anyway.

...With the workload, no way. And I just stuck with singing instead.

...Obviously not.

...I think it sent out the "I-want-to-be-alone" vibration all the more.

...I think it sent out the "I'm-too-busy-to-talk" vibration all the more.

...Obviously not.

...Best decision ever made.

...He looks at my future. Not my past. So I should look to Him and my future with Him.

And that starts another round of making decisions again. Hopefully better ones.