Reflection

on the other hand: have updated my spirit blog. click here to read the latest spiritual rantings of mine.

Have been reflecting a lot lately. Not thinking nonsense...well, not to that kind of reflection. But I have been thinking about many things, especially those connected to God. But I have a blog to just share something close to my heart, so to say.

As I go on living through January 2007, I look at how my life has been in 2006. Honestly, I somehow feel like wiping it away. But obviously I can't, then I will have one year unaccounted for.

However, I am thankful in spite of it. It helped me to see how I am really, that as I step into the grown-up world and no more of that teenager crisis and bliss stuff, though slow, I am growing.

I thought of a lot of "If-I"s and it's been unhelpful and helpful in some ways.

I think about If I Had Never Left XYZ...how would I be today? How will I serve today? Was I rejecting responsibility? Was I being a coward and fearful of growing old and losing my youth...haha..losing my youth. As if I'm turning 60 instead of 21 this year.

I think about If I Had Started My Uni Education Earlier...would I have adapted faster? Would I be satisfied? Would I be able to look smart and go into level 2 with so much aspirations cause I "caught up"?

I think about many other things but obviously my choices are done and I'm left with the consequences and hopefully a new opportunity to live right.

Then I touch on one of the more painful thoughts. Friends I have left, friends who left, and friends who have become silent and didn't speak. No, I'm not talking bout friends who died. So far, no one has yet...I had written before I believe in last month or earlier about friendships that are failing. I still can't come to grips that friends come, friends go. It still pains me to see once friendly faces cease to be smiling, or one encouragement ceased to inspire. Sigh.

Oh well, who has time for unhappy thoughts? I have chosen and thus I must choose for the better life. Yes, friends come and friends go. I still have great friends, people who will still smile and tease me and talk to me. I should be content.


Oh the new year,
How excited we are
How great is your arrival
If only we can be
How as we are
When you cease to be new
And fade into a number
But we turn our faces
To the next new year
To be excited again
For a new arrival
That will last
Only as long as you.