There's Many Things I Wished I Didn't Do

Currently listening: My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne

Argh, can't connect this. She thought to herself. As she crawls underneath the table to look at the endless wire connections, she was reminded of how Mike and Singer were beneath the kitchen sink and how Mike had complained about Singer's breath. She smiled. That's a nice start.

Her sweat glands had started to function, damping her shirt and make her felt slightly uncomfortable.

Done.

She slowly let herself up from the desk. Click. Click. Click. Can't find a USB connection. She grimaced. How can that happen? She was sure she connected the correct way. She's not a dimwit when it comes to computers, you know. Click again. Process..process..same message again. She sighed. There must be a mistake somewhere.

Singing along with Avril Lavigne, she finally gave up and pulled out the USB cable. Forget it. I'll use che che's laptop. So much easier. Her thumb came to a red button. Click. The Olympus logo appeared and faded. Then, she saw the pictures that she took earlier.

Should she ask her dad to do the connection for her? Nay, he might get upset by the weird pictures. Well, she'll just have to wait for her sister to come home.

Blink. Blink.

Her mother came into the room. She glanced at the fax that came in earlier. Her mother wasn't too happy about it. She read the fax. Finally, her mother just sighed a little and walked away. She just commented, "Yao kai shi jie sheng liao." (Need to start saving now)

She sighed. Heaved a sigh. Now listening to Hoobastank's The Reason. She loved that song so much. She still smile at the thought that one finalist in Malaysian Idol (Zamil) sang it and though he didn't sounded too well with the song, she started to like the song. The original one, of course.

She wondered when she just got back whether she should go for a swim and then take a bath. She just let procrastination set in.

Caesium Flouride (CsF) had earlier told her about this Saturday's Worship Tune-Up. Yes.

She remembered how well her ex-crush was a good singer though he might sound a little out sometimes. He has the voice to project and with a little training, he'll be a great singer. She silently laughed to herself, thinking of her readers' curiousity if they thought that CsF was her ex-crush. Hahaha...that was a thought to laugh about. Obviously it wasn't and isn't true. She already moved to the next topic after writing Yes.

Sometimes she can't help but feeling tiny-winy jealous of some people, especially when they have admirers running after them. Yet, she smiled a little to herself. No, I can enjoy myself too even if I don't have a someone to think about. Yes, having someone can really boost you to change yourself for the better, but why not Jesus as that Someone? She simpered.

This morning, she thought she woke up as another person. She felt as if she was slightly apart from herself. As if someone was trying to tear body and soul apart. Seperate. She hyperventilated slightly when she had odd thoughts.

She's better now. She guess it must be the nap before she went off for tuition. Or maybe it's just having relief knowing that her teacher are no longer mad at her. And she could have a better rapport with her classmates. All she had to do was ask for wisdom and favour. Maybe God knew that she was going berserk and may go mad if she and Him allowed it. She felt better today. Although she really hate the rollercoaster that she is sitting currently. Maybe it's the determination of her spirit, her stubbornness to let go of Someone that repeatedly saved her and she has grown slowly to love. She had declared last night, "I must overcome!" She just hope she don't turn into a paranoid by doing that.

She felt that as if God was giving her a second chance in two things. The first time she really overdid it and found herself trapped in an emotional prison. Maybe this second chance was to let her perform again. This second chance is to let her overcome better again. Fearful as she might be of what might be repeated again, all she wanted to do is...she don't know what she want.

Really. She didn't know what she want.

Click.

.blank...




::Day and night I'll stick with GOD;I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go::