Trying Something Different

Wanna try writing differently. Maybe I got inspired by Sparks.

Why am I seem to be getting in trouble with teachers? I feel sick and tired. A nap at 5 till 7 wasn't a good nap. I hadn't planned on sleeping this long. I wanted to wake up 15 minutes after 5, instead I slept for 2 hours.

Earlier, dad asked me if I wanted to go for a swim, but I said no. I was engrossed with The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks that I didn't want to let go. He was surprised that I would still turn down that offer. I just lost interest to swim ever since we shifted in.

I felt as if I was the one to be blame for all that's happening. Sure, catch me talking in class and I'll admit it. Not that I don't listen to the teachers. It's just a plain old, dumb habit. Lord, make me mellow. I need to mellow down because I feel sick of talking so much just to get into trouble. Even the class are scrutinizing me. Or so I felt like it.

Felt like a dumbo; a performer just screwing up nearly every two minutes. I hate that. Really felt like kicking in the gravel like how Tom Cruise did in Rain Man while cursing aloud away. Only I won't curse, I'll just kick. Yet, they are just hanging in the tip of the tongue. If life was like a flick, I wouldn't care in the world. All I would want to do is just pass the days having a mirror in front of me. I would be narrating, and I would be playing that part.

As if life isn't dramatic already.

Silence filled the dinner table. Inside of me, I was as confused as a silly old dog. It feels like I'm living in a bad dream or the starting of it. No, dad's not gonna walk into my class next week and let teacher spill the beans on me. I've had enough with teachers already. Why can't beaches in Malaysia be nicer so I can walk on the sand and scream all I want into the ocean, taking in all the breath and releasing all the frustration?

Boxing suddenly sounds so good.

God, what's wrong with me? Why am I so angry today? As if I could hear the laughter, the snickering of teachers, "Rebekah Lee, you're going down! Muahhaaha..." I feel like an obsolete fool. Fool I was, fool I am.

Fool. (Allow me to use this word) Darned fool.



::Day and night I'll stick with GOD;I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go::